Hold On Tights

There was once a man named Ryan.

Ryan was an ordinary fellow, but he had plenty of things going for him this coming day. Not only had the girl he had been talking to come around to agree to a date, but the weather and all the other conditions to make this date a success were picture perfect. As Ryan left his house, he had little else on his mind other than buying some flowers and then meeting the girl of his dreams at the restaurant he had reserved.

This did not scare him. Rather this was a mere obstacle, as Ryan’s quest towards greatness would simply start with acquiring the divine instrument that would once again fasten and lovingly hold his loose pants to his waist. Thus, with both hands readily held against his pants, Ryan made his way onward moving forward with all his might towards his goal.